CREATIVITY- The ability to transcend traditional ideas, rules, patterns, relationships, or the like, and to create meaningful new ideas, forms, methods, interpretations, etc. [Creativity week begins here. Click for this week's Bliss Initiatives.]
When my dear friend Jaye and I were recently trying to set up a time to get creative I had this idea of a three or four hour block of time that would net something cool, perhaps I would even proudly share the results here. Jaye had another idea. She was thinking about spending a whole day, eight or more hours!! When I told her that I couldn't take a "whole day" she asked me, "Why?"
From the point of the why the conversation has been hanging. I have yet to respond to that why. Her email note is a couple of weeks old now and I still have not responded. The thing is I have not been able to bring myself to answer the question. First thing to note is I have NEVER since J was born, spent an entire day away. My Sweetie takes her for an afternoon here or there but for the most part I have been there. I realize that I have a reluctance to answering Jaye's question because it seems entirely crazy that I couldn't have an entire day to myself once in a while. If I really wanted to do it the hubbie would certainly support the idea. It is just that I feel somewhat unable to give myself permission to do so.
Sometimes it is inconvenient to not have time to do all the stuff I personally would enjoy but I really feel like this is what I signed up to do. I am little J's mommy and while I know it is perfectly legitimate for people to parent in a variety of ways I decided to parent full time. Full time for me means that until she is in school I feel it is my job to be here the majority of the time. Breaks here and there not withstanding I actually want to be there. So J is not used to being away from her mom for full days at a time. Sure she would adjust if needed and some might even say she should but these baby years are already flying by... preschool starts in the fall... which will mean two whole mornings away from mom, and soon enough she'll be in Kindergarten and who knows how many other activities. Time is flying fast and it really won't be long until mommy will have plenty of time for other pursuits... including eight plus hours of creating with friends!
So why haven't I just told Jaye this? ll haven't told Jaye because I'm embarrassed to say I have decided to parent in a way that makes me unavailable for full day outings. When I think about my reasons it seems very logical but the little girl inside of me, who wants what she wants when she wants it absolutely HATES telling other people that she has opted to delay gratification, thinks she should be able to come up with a cooler more sociably acceptable reason for declining an invitation.
Jaye, I can't join you for eight hours at a time because at that time I am digging a well so under privileged children can have clean water.
Jaye, I can't join you for eight hours because I need to plant several dozen trees and slow the advance of global warming.
How is it that I've created that these things are more important then the actual reason?
This ends today! My personal reasons ARE legitimate enough.
Jaye, I would love to accept your invitation but at this point in time J isn't ready for me to be away that long and we have bubbles to blow, moon sand to sculpt, books to read and bugs to catch that will not be available to us a few short years from now. If a three or four hour block of time could work for you, I'd love to make that work but if eight plus hours is what is needed I need to decline for the for-see-able future. Thank you so much for thinking of me and I hope we can get together soon!
Next Post: The real Bliss Initiative Update!
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My 13 bliss virtues are
Bliss Posts on the topic.]
"we have bubbles to blow, moon sand to sculpt, books to read and bugs to catch" ~ Love that and so true!
ReplyDeleteI L-O-V-E love this post! I am 100% with you on your stance...and yes, time flies away far too quickly. I constantly look at my 5 year old and want to scream because my "baby" has disapeared and has been replaced with a fiesty little girl.
ReplyDeleteBTW, Happy SITS Saturday Share fest back at ya!!
They grow up so fast - my oldest is now 18 and it seems like yesterday he was just a toddler. Take time to be with your child, all of the other stuff will be there when she is grown ;)
ReplyDeleteMeanwhile, I'm thinking "I'd KILL for eight hours away!" LOL
ReplyDeleteI get what you mean, though. Good for you for figuring it out and saying how you feel.
What a BEAUTIFUL way to be aware of and OWN your decisions!! I LOVE it! Strength galore in that beautiful mommy who admits these words.
ReplyDelete(I'll admit, finding my own strength and fighting the urge to follow up with "but I'm not a bad mommy!"...I've done 8 hours away. And I'd do it again.) ;-)
We all are on our own paths and that is what makes this journey so fun. Keep blowing those bubbles.