Well isn't this a fine kettle of fish, everyone thanking me for all my positive energy round here, and I have decided to participate in Friday Flip offs! I was originally just going to "RANT" today but then I found out about Kludgy Mom's Friday Flip Offs and I thought perfect!! Don't worry, I will be returning to my regularly scheduled good will once I get a few things off my chest! It is surprise week after all... hopefully you are at least a little surprised by my tone or this forthcoming diatribe is ill conceived... anyway, let's get started.
Image from Modern Mythology Press
To the woman in the red Jeep in front of me - FLIP OFF! It is annoying enough that you have to chain smoke with your window open in front of me at a traffic light but then you had to flip the lit butt out of your window so I could enjoy watching it smolder on the pavement. Littering is tacky enough but we live in California where fires start because someone looks at the dry grass the wrong way... a little wind in the right direction and you could take out a subdivision. What the hell were you thinking?!!!
To BP - FLIP OFF!! OK we get it you have absolutely no idea how to fix your disaster but if I have to watch one more "sincere" advertisement about how you are going to "make things right" I am going to spontaneously combust. As I mentioned above, I live in California so in addition to the gulf coast annihilation you will be responsible for a fire that takes out Northern California.
To my Fat Jeans - FLIP OFF!! You have got to be kidding! I was willing to release you from the top shelf of my closet and take you for a glamorous spin to the grocery store and park but NO, you too have forsaken me with your belly roll inducing closure. Thank goodness your sweat pant cousin is still available or I would be heading to the store half naked.
To my floors - FLIP OFF!! Why do you have to be a magnet for filth and grime? Can you not remain clean for at least three seconds so I can enjoy walking across you without stepping in something sticky or wet?
And Finally
To the earth - FLIP OFF! While I am really grateful that you have decide to give us all a gorgeous place to live could you please just slow that orbiting around the sun down a bit? 24 hours in a day is just NOT enough. Could you back it off a bit and give me 28 or even 30 hours? No wait, even better, could I call you the day before and let you know what I need tomorrow?
Hey that was pretty cathartic! How about you? Wanna flip someone/something off? Join the hop and tell us all about it!
Next Post - Back to Inspirational Surprises!
My 13 bliss virtues are
joy, order, creativity, passion, whimsy, serenity, inquiry, community,
romance, gratitude, moxie, humility, and surprise.
This week we are studying Surprise. Next week it is Hiatus week and after that, Joy.
LOL! Yes, I am so with you on these!
ReplyDeleteLOL - Venting is sport for me!
ReplyDeleteI hate people who puff in my face and I'm totally with ya on the time factor. Great flips! Glad you joined in!
ReplyDeletealicia @ a beautiful mess
http://www.weloveiowa.blogspot.com
Wow - this WAS a surprise! LOL I am in full agreement with the BP flip off. My heart breaks on a daily basis. But here are some positives in the midst of darkness:
ReplyDeletehttp://ripplesketches.blogspot.com/ Wonderful artisans are donating their work to this amazing cause! Donate to one of the two participating organizations helping animals and birds of the coast, and choose an amazing piece of art to own.
http://www.etsy.com/shop/HelpTheGulfCoast All the artists here are donating 100 % of their proceeds through this shop. There's lots of great items.
Together, WE can put BP to shame. If they won't fix it, we will. :)
Theresa
thanks for joining in :) I hate people that hurt the earth with ciggy butts. And I am right there with you on the belly roll enclosure. Ugh!!!!
ReplyDeleteHAH ha ha ha...that was awesome. Thank you
ReplyDeleteSuch a great idea! Love your list and that image cracks me up!
ReplyDeletehahahahaha, that cracked me up- what a great post! Thanks for making me laugh : )
ReplyDeleteThe last FLIP was the funniest!! But the one about the jeans was toooooo close for comfort! Its not so much the grubby gloors which bug me, its the sort of tacky 'schlippsh' when I pull my foot off something sticky I've accidentally stepped on....if that makes sense?
ReplyDeleteAnd yes- this post was a surprise so I guess....SCORE!!
You are so funny!! I have a Flip Off too. Yesterday I was driving under the interstate, heading for the grocery store. This woman in a white Toyota is coming off the interstate ramp behind a semi. She literally runs me out of my lane, like she wasn't even looking!!! It's a good thing there was no one in the lane to my left, or we would have been sardines!! FLIP Off and learn how to drive!!!
ReplyDeleteP.S. I brought a cup of tea with me from the Lady Bloggers Tea Party.
Those were some excellent flips!
ReplyDeleteI live in Alabama and the whole Gulf Coast thing is severely pssing me off.
I can relate to the jeans-thank jeebus for yoga pants or I would be naked a good bit of the time!
Oh my goodness--It is GORGEOUS in here; I love the simplicity in your design.
ReplyDeleteGlad you got all of that off your chest! :)