One of the reasons I call this blog Everyday Bliss is the Everyday component. I want to cultivate Bliss as an Everyday occurrence, not something that happens only on special occasions. So this week I am working on making romance a commonplace thing in my home. Part of the air we breathe so to speak. This being the case it is pretty easy to notice when romance isn't in the air so I thought it was a good idea to consider what it takes to get in the mood.
I mentioned in Monday's post that I was not very excited when I realized it was Romance week but by the time I wrote a couple of paragraphs I had completely shifted my attitude and was looking forward to what this week might hold. So taking time to think about romance is a good first step to having romance. My friend Jessica even offered this tip in her comment to yesterday's post "First thing in the morning and last thing before sleep, think one loving romantic thought about your partner. Twice during the day think two more similar romantic or loving thoughts." Of course just thinking about something doesn't always get things moving so a good next step would be to DO SOMETHING SIMPLE. Which means it would be idea to have an arsenal of little, quick Romance boosters that you could employ whenever you noticed romance lacking. My personal favorite is to make sure I'm taking time for my 30 second kiss which I introduced in my Occasional Bursts of Passion post (there are also some other great romantic tips in that post.) The combo of thinking romantic thoughts AND kissing for 30 seconds will do wonders! Lets be clear it is easy to give lip service (pun intended) to these ideas and we or our sweeties can be well out the door before we remember we said goodbye with little more then a peck on the cheek. The day is not lost!
Try thinking about what it was like when you first met. You weren't significant others, husbands, wives or even necessarily friends you were lovers. Gregory Godek says in 1001 ways to be Romantic says in number 347, "Live as lovers. Remember that's how you started your relationship. You can recapture the glow, the passion and the excitement. It's largely a mindset, followed by a few active gestures. Live as lovers!" Remember the "active gestures" you employed when you first met. Drop an email thanking them for the great time you had last night or are expecting later today. Send a photo of something you think they would enjoy seeing because it made you think of them. When Rob and I first met I was always sending him weird tidbits about ducks because he told me how much he liked them. We even bought decoys or other ducky items whenever we traveled together. Friends who visit our home think the rubber ducky motif in our bathroom has something to do with having a toddler. In truth it started long before Jessie was even a twinkle in our eye! Likely you have something in your history that could get the fires of romance burning again.
Love Duck coming soon to a bathroom near me!
If you don't want to pull something from your past you can always create something new. I really liked Regina's idea of sending a little coded messages, which I shared in yesterday's post, as well as writing I love you in the shower steam on the mirror. With a little research it isn't hard to find romance boosters that are tailor made for your particular relationship.
Finally, if using your personal arsenal of romance boosters isn't doing the trick THEN try harder! Really! Sometimes it takes going a little bit further then you are comfortable with to get the ball rolling. If you have been neglecting the romance in your relationship then chances are one cute email and possiblly a rose or two aren't going to ignite a huge romanic bonfire. Then again even if a little smolder gets started it can be a lot of fun create something bigger. So, step three in my little Get in the Mood for Romance recipe is to plan something romantic.
The kind of thought required to pull off a romantic surprise will up the innate romance quotient immediately. Even if it is something you aren't doing immediately your lover will reap the benefit of your romantic thinking. You will act differently, you really can't help it. And who knows maybe they will even start acting in kind. Rob has already offered to make dinner this week and last night he paused when walking by me and gave me a little shoulder rub. Nice! My big romantic surprise for this weekend, as mentioned in this week's Bliss Initiatives, includes me making a jar with 101 reasons I love Rob. Just thinking of the things to put on the little slips of paper has already made me feel and act a lot more romantic and even without knowing what I'm up to Rob is acting more romantic himself. (Rob only reads my blog on the weekends so any plans of mine are always safe until then!)
To re-cap, my personal recipe for getting in the mood for romance.
- Think about romance
- 30 second kiss or other romance booster
- Plan something romantic
- Stir and provide 1-3 liberally!
My 13 bliss virtues: joy, order, creativity, passion, whimsy, serenity, inquiry, community, romance, gratitude, moxie, humility, surprise